A man and woman doing staff in bed after midnight. At one point they hear a car noise and a strong brake. Woman : Take your staff and run on the window. I think that`s my husband. The man panics, jumps out of bad , takes his clothes from all over the place, and jumps on the window. After a while the same guy with his clothes knocks at the door : -Hey wife, I think we are a little bit stressed.
A blonde & brunette are in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who's just perfect: 3-piece suit, great build with a nice butt. Unfortunately, they both noticed, he had really bad dandruff. The man got off on the 5th floor. Once the doors closed the brunette turned to the blonde and said, "Someone should give him 'Head & Shoulders.'" To which the blonde replied, "How do you give 'Shoulders'?"
Tony ambled into a bar, and noticed a bucket behind the counter filled to the brim with cash. "Is there a contest on to win that dough?" Tony asked the bartender. "Yep," the barkeep responded, "It costs $50 to enter, and then you have to do three things: First you've got to knock out Spike, our 300-pound bouncer. Then we've got a pit bull out back with an abscessed tooth, and it's up to you to yank it out. Finally, the 90-year old lady who owns this place is upstairs. If you can give her a multiple-orgasm, all the money's yours." Tony was up for it. He paid the fee and approached the hulking doorman. With a single blow, Tony knocked Spike cold. Triumphant, Tony stormed into the bar's backyard. The patrons listened to the pit bull's ferocious bark for several minutes, which was followed by a series of hysterical yelps. Covered with nicks and scratches, Tony reentered the saloon and yelled: "Two down! Now where's that old broad with the abscessed tooth?"
Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad and Patrick asks him what the matter is. mick says, "Well, I knew that my grandfather had died in the war, but I've just found out that he actually died in the Auschwitz concentration camp." Patrick says, "That's terrible, did he go to the gas chamber?" and Mick replies, "No, he fell out of the machine gun tower."
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